Friday, April 21, 2006

Happy Birthday, Liz!

Yippee. It's the Queen's birthday. She's 80 today.

God save the Queen.

What for?


A LONDON SUBURB is being terrorised by kiddie gangs, some of whose members are only ten years old.

Rocks have been thrown, windows smashed, pizza delivery men hijacked and shop staff attacked with knives and other weapons.

And, according to business proprietors along Old Church Road in Chingford, reports of the mayhem are being ignored by police.

Domino’s Pizza franchisee Anthony Tagliamonti said that one of his drivers had his pizza stolen by children armed with a knife and a claw hammer.

Another was stoned by around twenty five youths from the roof of an Iceland store while stuck at traffic lights.

Mr Tagliamonti is now having difficulties hiring delivery staff.

Rasel Khan, manager of Burger King, and staff at the KFC and the off-licence close to Domino’s also say they have been harassed and attacked.

“Every day they come in my restaurant and create problems,” said Mr Khan. “They try to break the glass in the front door and fight the staff. I’ve called the police so many times.”

Ian Duncan Smith, MP for the area and former leader of the Conservative Party, suggested the possibility of a racial element: 80% of Domino’s staff are Asian and a high number of ethnic minority staff are employed by the other businesses, while the gang members are all white.

Hey, smart thinking Mr Duncan Smith. Weren't you once a military man?

According to a police spokesman resources are allocated depending on where they are most needed and crime levels are higher in the south of the borough.


MEANWHILE south of the Thames, a mother, who is too frightened to be named, has accused police of ignoring the violent activities of a black gang known as T Block.

She said: “The police do not want to know,” adding that parents on the housing project, Thamesmead, may have to take matters into their own hands.

Her son, 17, has been robbed once at knifepoint and another time at the point of a gun.

His 18 year old friend was mugged for his mobile phone and cash and beaten by a gang of twenty youths.

Other incidents have included the beating of a 15 year old boy and the mugging of two 13 year old girls.

The woman, who has lived in Thamesmead all her life said: “We never had anything like this before. The more I speak to people, the more I find out what is happening. I was told the gang burst into one house in Thamesmead armed with chains and beat the son in front of his family.”

She added: “We have got to protect our kids. I am trying to get some residents’ meeting going. We are not prepared to have this gang run riot.”

Police at Bexley had no comment.

http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/

PUBS AND BARS in Warrington town centre are to ban hoodies, baseball caps and tracksuits on their premises after 8pm on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays as part of a police-backed pub watch scheme.

The move follows similar measures adopted in shopping malls such as the Trafford Centre and Bluewater in Kent.

Hoodies are associated with street gang culture and many members of the public say they are intimidated by the presence of groups of youths dressed this way.

http://www.manchesteronline.co.uk/

IN READINESS for the world cup, which begins in about five weeks time and will take place at venues throughout Germany, the Foreign Office has published an information pack of travel tips in which England fans are encouraged to learn German versions of their favourite football chants.

Hundreds of fans are expected to be in or around each stadium where England play.

Also launched by the F.O. is a credit card sized fold-out headed “Avoiding Penalties”, which offers translations for some useful phrases such as “Can I have a beer?”, “Can I have another beer?” and “May I pitch my tent in your back garden?”.

www.britishembassyworldcup.com

“HEY, HERE’S A GOOD IDEA. Let’s open a massage parlour in a middle class residential area of north London. Let’s call it Secret Knights Sauna and Massage and let’s have it open 24 hours at the weekend and between 5pm and 5am during the week. Shall we? C’mon let’s do it and see what happens.”

“You mean, sort of keep your enemies close type of thing?”

“No, I mean let’s move right into the middle of our customer base. Can’t fail, right?”

Unfortunately, though unsurprisingly, residents are worried that the new venture, which is at present a furniture shop in Ordnance Road, Enfield Lock, close to two primary schools, will lower the tone of the area.

The club’s owner’s insist that only massage will be for sale behind the closed doors (yeah, right!) but there is concern about what kind of people will be attracted to the premises (two headed people use these places, don’t they?).

An Ordnance Road resident said: “I am extremely frightened for the children and will be concerned for my own safety when it opens.

“I feel the area is likely to turn into a mini Soho, Seven Sisters or Finsbury Park. It will bring the peace of the area down and reduce the prices of our homes.”

But if Ordnance Road is such a great place to live why would you want to sell?

www.enfieldindependent.co.uk

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